Like any emotion it is natural and has its purpose in life, however, it is often perceived in a negative light with only its damaging and destructive aspects highlighted. Mostly, like anything that is feared, all we really need is to better understand what is anger, why we experience anger and when it occurs and how to use it in a positive manner.

 

       Often we can understand why others may become angry, but not ourselves, and we judge ourselves for our own behavior.  Anger is the natural result of our survival mechanism being activated. When we feel threatened, whether in reality or imagined, our fight, flight or freeze response is activated. Anger is the response when we feel cornered and need to fight.  Unfortunately, we often express this anger around the ones least deserving of our emotion, our family, friends and loved ones.

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       Anger can take many forms, but the two most common are a direct outward expression of hostility and an indirect passive-aggressive behavior. Emotions are meant to convey what we are feeling and when repress, suppress, push down or sublimate these emotions they will naturally come out at other times, often in places where they are inappropriate and with an intensity that is out of proportion to the situation.  One way or another, our feelings want to be heard and acknowledged.

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      I work with people experiencing either unexpected/uncontrolled anger or passive-aggressive behavior, so they can identify the events that trigger the anger, be able to tolerate it without reacting and choose to use it in a constructive manner learning more about themselves and how to work with the underlying emotions.